Penélope Cruz Named Esquire’s 2014 Sexiest Woman Alive

blame it on Shake October 13, 2014

Following in the steps of Mila Kunis (2012) and Scarlett Johanson (2013), Penélope Cruz resurfaces from hiding taking care of her newborn to land Esquire‘s 2014 “Sexiest Woman Alive” title.

She is impossibly beautiful. When she walks into a room, men start walking into furniture. Up close, however, she becomes almost hard to look at, like staring into the most unflattering mirror. When we meet strangers, we begin scanning their faces for their strengths and vulnerabilities, for the lights and scars that will tell us something about who they are and the life they have lived. Cruz has no physical flaws, the bent noses and crooked teeth we would normally use as signifiers. Her face contains no secrets, at least not about her. But her face tells you and the room plenty about you. If you want to feel like the world’s most judged man, sit down at a table in a restaurant with the Sexiest Woman Alive.

Keep scrolling for some examples.

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Have another chick that should’ve taken the crown? List it in the c-section below!