Have you ever, on any given day, flip through your many television channels and somehow end up landing on something that instantly brings back memories from your past? It happens to me almost every day, actually; save for ESPN or episodes of either South Park, The Walking Dead or American Horror Story, my television tends to mainly hover between old reruns of Martin or VH1 Soul. So there’s almost always something from the days of future past flying by my screen.
The other day I was greeted with a pair of videos from The Firm – the heavily touted and, sadly, commercial failure that was the “super-group” of Nas, AZ, Foxy Brown, and Nature (or Cormega, give or take a year) – that I’ve not seen in a while, “Firm Biz” and “Phone Tap.”
Soon, I was reminded of the time when the collective made their mainstream debut on Nas’ “Affirmative Action,” on his sophomore album It Was Written. And, naturally, it brought me to Foxy Brown’s now-infamous closing verse where she – and I’m putting this nicely – butchered the entire concept of Algebra 101 in roughly 10 bars.
Honestly, we should’ve seen the Firm Flop coming as soon as this song faded out.
To this day I’m still flabbergasted at Inga’s lyrics, so I’m going to try to actually my best to decipher it here with the hopes I don’t get a massive migraine in the process.
Now I’m not some kind of kingpin, and the baking soda in my house is actually used to keep my fridge smelling fresh, so I’m not going to pretend that I am an expert on all things narcotics. So maybe, by those standards, all of this makes perfect sense to the average dealer…
Keys is one and two-fifth, so how we flip
Thirty-two grams raw, chop it in half
Get sixteen, double it times three
We got forty-eight, which mean a whole lot of cream
Divide the profit by four, subtract it by eight
We back to sixteen now add the other two that Mega bringing through
So let’s see, if we flip this other key
Then that’s more for me, mad coke and mad leak
Plus a five hundred cut in half is two-fifty
Now triple that times three
We got three quarters of another ki
Which, admittedly, sounds tough as nails… until you try to logically make sense of it all.
Keys is one and two-fifth (it’s 1,400 grams), so how we flip
Thirty-two grams raw, chop it in half (32 ÷ 2 = 16)
Get sixteen, double it times three (16 x 2 = 32, 32 x 3 = 96)
We got forty-eight (no, you got 96), which mean a whole lot of cream (you’re missing half, though)
Divide the profit by four (48 ÷ 4 = 12), subtract it by eight (12 – 8 = 4)
We back to sixteen now (my head hurts) add the other two that Mega bringing through
At this point, Foxy has proven that she is the easiest drug lord to pull a fast one over, but then she keeps it up:
Plus a five hundred cut in half is two-fifty (500 ÷ 2 = 250)
Now triple that times three (250 x 3 = 750, 750 x 3 = 2250)
We got three quarters of another ki (no, you’re just getting swindled out of a lot right now)
The moral of this story? Never let Foxy Brown do your taxes.
PREVIOUS: Bring It Back: Mona Lisa
